Lady on the Canvas
by Jessie Katz
Summary: She was trying to escape her past. Trying to forget the painful memory of his face. But what if running away will only keep her from moving on? A Kurama & Botan fanfic AU . Chapter 3 is already up.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not have the rights for Yu Yu Hakusho.

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**Prologue**

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A little more than eight years ago… 

She could smell the scent of flowers around her. The sweet fragrances supposed to calm her, but, unfortunately, it worsened the feeling of tightness in her chest. Her hands were trembling slightly, her knees weak. The lovely voice of the chorus—who was practicing for the ceremony—made it difficult to breathe.

It's their wedding day, and everything seemed wrong. Maybe it could be her knowledge of his true feelings and desires that painted such special day erroneous.

She found the birds on the trees rather interesting. They were not singing, or just minding their business. Instead, they were looking straight back to where she sat by the window.

Great. _Even the birds feel sorry for me._

He doesn't love her. She hoped he does.

Yet, however painful it was, she had to accept it, simply because it was the unfathomable reality.

* * *

At the other corner of the room, Keiko— who was fixing the bouquet— paid a glance on her unseemly quiet friend. "What are you looking out there?" She asked Botan, who was staring at the window for quite sometime then. 

When she did not respond, "Botan, is everything alright?"

After a moment of silence, "What do you think?" Botan said indifferently, without bothering to look at her worried friend.

Keiko took a deep, calm breath. "If you're worried about what happened—"

"If you think everything is okay right now, you're clearly mistaken," Botan said sharply. "You know exactly as I, and everybody else, that he doesn't love me." She said this looking straight in her friend's eyes.

Keiko paled at what she saw. A great amount of pain in those glassy-lavender eyes that was very hard to repel. "Oh, Botan. Of course he does you. It may sound funny but I could see it in his eyes."

Botan lowered her eyes, and fell silent. "What you saw in those fucking eyes is nothing but bullshit." If it was a normal conversation, Keiko would have laughed, and then give Botan a sermon at her choice of language. It was Yusuke and Kuwabara's influence, undoubtedly.

It was almost ten and the ceremony would have to begin. Keiko and Botan sat in silence. Keiko waited for her friend. Botan, well, she just waited for the floor to swallow her alive.

"C'mon, it's your wedding day. We shouldn't be forlorn, or something." Keiko broke the silence with a rather cheerful voice.

After figuring she had no escape, Botan stood up.

Keiko handed her the bouquet, and then cupped her friend's face. "You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen," she told Botan this, smiling. "You'll make him a good wife."

Botan managed a smile that did not reflect in her eyes. "It's a shame, really." Keiko waited. "He's just marrying me because of the baby."

"Of course that's not true," Keiko said. She felt her friend's pain.

"I'm not dreamy, like everyone thinks I am," she felt like shaking her friend. "He doesn't love me, Keiko. God, he doesn't even want me." Her raised voice stopped any response from Keiko.

Botan was absolutely stunning in her dress. Her fair hair was neatly done, secured by flowers in her head. Three months of pregnancy made her cheeks flush, and her eyes glimmer. Her growing belly was still unnoticeable. The bride was achingly beautiful, thought everyone who saw her that day.

They were walking their way to where the ceremony was held, when Keiko finally had the courage to know what her friend meant. "Why do you say so?"

"Because he's in love with someone, who's everything but me," she said. With one final glance at her friend, Botan walked towards the isle. Feet firmly on the ground.

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**Author's Notes**

This is the revised version. I want to apologize for those who've read the first draft. I have to revise the whole chapter simply because it's all wrong,

Anyway, thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter One

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. This story is for entertainment only.

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France. Almost eight years later.

It was a vivid day. Botan was looking outside the oversized window, and she squinted. Everything seemed to shine so brightly: the sun, the sky, the flowers.

The sun had risen long before, yet she felt she wanted to take a cup of coffee. She then remembered that she have to read something. Yes, the article.

It was written in a famous magazine, featuring herself, her career for the past few years, and her recent engagement with an ambassador's son. In the article, there was a clipped picture of a woman in the arms of a dashing man, both were smiling and seemed happy.

Was she really?

A good question, that was, for she was not certain. Actually, that certain picture talked to her oddly. She could not fathom the happiness that image was trying to deliver.

For her, however beautiful and expressive the picture was, it was completely empty.

**

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**

She went outside the little house— which she rented from her colleague, and was situated in a small village in Aquitaine— after being bothered by thoughts regarding about her situation.

She welcomed the soothing breeze of spring on her face. The brightness of everything pushed the idea of taking a walk. It might clear her mind.

Yet, however kind the breeze was, it could not blew the ugliness of her past which came rushing back.

**

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**

After what happened, Botan left her home. She did not care which part of the world she would end up to, as long as it was very, very faraway from them, _him_, as possible.

She was really grateful for meeting a couple, whom she helped out of a dreadful incident, who gave her an opportunity to escape. They invited her for a free-stay in France with them, which she shamelessly accepted. Yes, it was an indecent step by her, but she was desperate then.

A month of stay in France gave her a good opportunity to escape from everything completely. She applied to work under the couple's household.

Her first job in France was serving tea. She always smiled at the memory. It was the start of her new life. From serving tea, she became the couple's model after she agreed to be painted by the missus.

The portrait of her is a complete masterpiece. Botan was thrilled when the couple decided to hang it in their shop's window in Paris. Many people desired to buy it, but the artists clearly pointed that it was not for sale. In a way, she felt she leveled with those beautiful faces that embossed billboards and known magazines, after all, Parisians loved her.

The portrait was just an ordinary painting, but what made the portrait so luring was that it eloquently shows Botan's heart. The lady on the canvas speaks directly to anyone who sees her. She seems to be trying to bare her soul.

For Botan, it scared the hell out of her. The truth was, after she figured out what her own portrait was trying to tell her and other people, she could no longer look at it.

It was the very reflection she was running away from.

**

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**

She could not sleep, not because it was only ten in the evening. It was surely because of caffeine. She drank more caffeine lately than before. That was why she was sent packing by her boss for vacation in western part of the country.

Her room was dark, and the windows were opened so that the fragrant breeze could come in and lull her to sleep. Aside from caffeine, another thing that made her stare to the ceiling, wide-eyed, was her recent engagement.

The things from before came flashing back.

She became one of the fashion consultants of a recognized magazine, with the blessing of the couple after apprenticing under their wings for a couple of years. Another two years brought her to better positions, and by the seventh year she became the assistant editor, and providing services in the entertainment business. She could have worked as a print model, but she declined such kind of offer. She was too shy for that kind of challenge, she thought.

In her seventh year in France, she met Koenma. It happened in a social party, and it may be the potential of him to sweep her off her feet that brought them into an affair for months. Botan did not thought he was serious about her, until he fell into his knee in his father's party, and proposed marriage to her in front of a hundred important guests.

Can she refuse? Yes, if she was open to the idea of ruining herself. She could not disappoint the hopeful guests who were in front of them. She never thought that Koenma was a sly bastard.

The engagement worsened everything after almost eight years of peaceful solitude. It made her thoughts venture into the most forbidden part of her past. Him. Just a flash of his face in the back of her mind made her shut her eyes so tight. As if it was not enough, she sat up and shook her head in her cradling hands.

The breeze blew again from the window, only then she felt it soothed her entire being. But with its comfort, the breeze whispered something alarming.

"You should come back," was what the wind said.

Then, she could not sleep anymore.


	3. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: **I do not have the rights on Yuu Yuu Hakusho. This story is for entertainment only.

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**Chapter Two**

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**

She dreaded the day that she will face her family again. After she left, she never looked forward on seeing them. Selfish as she may seem, she had to cut all strings that were attached to her past in order for her to forget or, at the very least, to shroud the pain and humiliation. If not only for Koenma, her probable future, she would never set foot on that familiar space again. Selfish as it may seem, but for her it was not.

The breeze that brushed on her face and threaded along her hair, the familiar smell and color of the spring flowers gave a rush of nausea in her throat. Her senses brought back a lot of memories that had been buried in the deepest part of her consciousness, where they were suppose to be. The few minutes she spent standing, and looking over the house she had known, started to consume her patched heart.

There was no turning back though. If she really wants to move on, she had to do it.

**

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**

She was tending the garden as usual, to save her health. It was bullshit. She never liked flowers in the first place. Plus, given the wrinkles and pale hair, she never saw any sign of frailty on the Old Woman's part.

"I saw you coming," the Old Woman said, her back towards her. "I can feel your reluctance from several yards away. Now, why is that?"

Botan was torn between rolling eyes and a sheepish grin. Wonder Woman, that old hag.

"Really?" she managed to grin, pushed herself to get a little closer look of her foster parent for more than twenty years. "I'm just making sure if this is the right place."

Old Genkai answered with a smirk, which really annoyed her from time immemorial. It meant a really sarcastic remark. She felt the urge to mock her by calling her Granny Hag, which really popped her nerves. But that was old times, which she preferred to be forgetten. "So, what drags those heavy feet of yours all the way from there? It must have been a really great effort for you."

She winced. How can she forget that if she returns, she will definitely receive a good verbal spanking from this old woman?

"Eight years? Really, the effort of going home must have weighed tons," Old Genkai was already sneering and had just begun being sarcastic, and Botan could not help but wonder how a beautiful woman during her youth, like her, could do such nasty things.

"Look--"

"One phone call, two decent letters, eight Holiday postcards? I can't believe I could count the times you remembered us, in those years, with my fingers. I'm starting to doubt that I have a family from the other side of the world." It was really amazing how unfeeling the Old Woman can be at times. She didn't expect her outburst to be like it. Of course she knew she will get antsy the moment she returns, but she also supposed that the old hag would go light with her disappearance and everything. After all, it was bloody eight years ago.

She was about to open her mouth for a reply, when someone squealed her name. It was Yukina, and she frowned. _Yukina never squealed._

"Oh, it is really you," awe was all over her face. "I thought it was somebody else, but with the hair and everything…" Yukina trailed.

Botan was fully smiling then. It dawned to her what she really missed. Yukina. How can she ever forget the sweet girl? Her beloved sister, though not by blood. "What's up?"

And with that, they both hugged each other laughing. By the time they let go, Yukina was already crying. "I can't believe you haven't changed your habit," Botan could not help but to comment. Yukina laughingly wiped her tears.

Old Genkai took their attention by clearing her throat. "Yukina please prepare some food for this waif. I just can't stand skin and bones."

With that, Botan laughed. She followed her two companions inside the familiar house. She still could not believe she had returned. If she did not felt the sun's warmth beating down on her skin, or the humming noise she heard from the bees, she could have said it was all a pleasant illusion, and not a dreaded reality.

**

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**

"Dork," it was shouted from the other line. "That spankin' she'd done serves your right." It was Yusuke. It was a foul feeling to be shouted by you closest friend, except when… "You left without saying anything to them. And the worst part would be you leaving without telling me a fucking 'goodbye'!"

Laughing, she answered, "Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to."

"Fucking right! And not even a word where you were heading to? You had us worried then, you idiot!"

She sighed. "Oh, this is great. You're giving me your wrath too?"

"What do you expect? To kiss you like nothing happened? You don't deserve it." Botan was almost breathless because of laughing at what he said. "Not one friggin' kiss. And I'm not kidding."

Wiping her teary eyes, she managed to blurt, "Oh, shut up. Why do you act like I want a kiss from you? It's too gross." At that, they started to mock each other helplessly.

Yusuke was the only guy who could annoy and, at the same time, make her laugh so hard. When she was little, she defined _best friend_ as the person who can make you hoot and all that. That person could be annoying, but tolerable because he can also put up with you. As she grew up, that perception matured. That person, however disagreeable he might be on a lot of occasions, is someone who can feel your pain and willing to do everything at his expense just to make it all better.

Botan never doubted that that person was Yusuke.

"So, are you coming, or what?" she asked.

"The hell, I'm not!"

"By the way, your _gurrrl_-friend, Keiko, is preparing the menu. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." She teased him further by making kissing sounds.

"Now you shut up!"

**

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**

Nothing could go wrong with the dinner party. It was put up by the old hag, so most probably no tricks and all the annoying stunts that Yusuke and Kuwabara usually do. Yukina cooked the menu with the help of Keiko, and the two monkeys were not there yet to spoil the preparations. It could be faultless. At least that was what she hoped.

But what was with the feeling that something might go wrong? She could not help it.

They were setting the table when the boys arrived with Kuwa's tall sister, Shizuru. Kuwabara started teasing Botan about her ventures, called her names, and so on. "I couldn't believe that you left for Paris. I wasn't sure that you even know where it is then," he said cruelly. "And, I never thought the French would give you a look. It's really weird that they did. You surely looks like an alien from outer space to get their attention." He felt then that he said a good joke, and gave out a loud, teary guffaw.

"Ha-ha, very funny." Botan just cut him slack, because she knew he was just trying to make an impression on Yukina. If it was the case, he was making a big mistake. "FYI, French aren't interested on aliens from outer space in general. They are more into beauty and art." Good. That would make that big oaf look stupider.

Shizuru turned to her brother. "Moron. If you ever set foot on that country, you'd be shot. You look like some damn terrorist."

Kuwa threateningly dared his sister to repeat what she said but, as always, he had lost his spot by a simple sisterly retort. Poor Kuwabara. He was not silly as he might seem. He was just a funny guy.

"Why do you even wonder why she went there?" Yusuke looked at her in the eyes that thrashed the warmth in her. "You know as well as I do that she left because of him."

With that, Botan paled. She wanted so much to punch Yusuke in the face for bringing it up. But the look on his face dared her to wrong him.

_Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me._ He taunted with his eyes.

She knew better than to give in, and ignored his remark. Shizuru wittingly cut in to stop the building tension by asking about the food. Luckily, Yukina and Keiko had finished settling everything on the dinner table, and Kuwabara started praising Yukina's efforts on the menu, and insisted that they should start eating since the food like those at present were not meant to be ignored even for a single second.

Botan and Yusuke were still throwing deadly stares at each other, ignoring those around them. "Thanks for that," She managed to blurt out and headed towards the dinning place. Yusuke's gaze followed her, but he kept silent. Before he proceeded to the table, he shrugged the feeling of being crossed. Ever since it dawned to him the main reason why she left, he could not help but felt being betrayed.

"Are we eating, or what?" As Kuwa chimed this, someone had rung the doorbell. The tall man volunteered to get the door cheerfully.

Then there was silence.

**

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**

Eight years had passed. If she can describe how each of those years was spent, she might say that it was spent with little remorse. After all, those years signified her freedom.

Even if she denies it on her grave, her spared years were actually not spent as such. She spent it all to cure her heart by convincing herself the whole time that what happened before was nothing but dead memories.

_But the dead could come back and haunt us._

Possibly, yes. But if it is determinedly buried, then it will stay as it is. Like what she did on her memories of him. His face, his laughter, everything about him, and what had gone between them. She had buried it in the deepest core of the earth, where scorching heat could consume it, completely.

Eight, long years of burying the ghosts of her past. She worked twenty hours straight with whatever projects were disposed on her hands, so as to fatigue herself, and be numb. She drank more caffeine then, so that it would be difficult for her to fall asleep and have the chance to dream.

To dream about him.

Fatigue and stress cured her shattered self. Unusual as it is, but it cured her. It made her less vulnerable to pain. It helped to mend her heart. And, best of all, it made her forget.

**

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**

It was Kurama at the door.

Everything winded back, and shattered the pieces that remained her heart. She dreaded this day because she was afraid of what she might feel. Afraid she might _feel_.

She wanted to die at the moment she set her eyes on him again.

Her years of mock refuge were gone wasted.

**

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**

If she was not too stunned, she knew her feet would drag her out of the goddamn place. But her breath was caught in her throat, which made her motionless. She looked she might faint.

Everyone else in the room became fidgety. Some were trying to tell something, but cannot think of anything to say. The rest just stared at her staring at him.

The moment she swallowed the lump in her throat was the moment he caught her eyes. He recognized that they were slightly darker than the last time he saw them. He guessed those might be fakes. It might be contact lenses.

_She had changed._

The young woman he had known before was not reflected on those eyes. It just mirrored somebody else, a stranger to him. A familiar stranger, who knew who he was: his name, his face, but not his entire being.

What did he expect? If he was going to see her again, she would be entirely different, he thought of this before. She would be different in the sense that he can not recognize her anymore. She preferred to let her hair fall lovingly on her back. She preferred to wear make-up and dark suits that displayed sophistication and elegance. She changed everything that she was before. Because that was the only thing she can change: her own self.

What he did not expect was the undeniable feeling of his heart twisting in pain at the fact that she looked so distant. Distant from everyone else in the room and, undoubtedly, from him.

He could not move. He should not be staring at her idiotically, but he could not take his eyes away from her. Looking at her was too agonizing, but he was testing his self. He thought he learned to be numb. He convinced himself of this, and he thought it might work.

Numb. Numb. Numb. _That's what you wanted me to learn, to feel nothing._

"Glad you've made it," the Old Woman acknowledged. "Now, if all of you place yourselves properly in the table, then we can start dinner."

For formality's sake, and to diminish the awkwardness as well, everyone started to babble whatever they think was appropriate to say, or ask.

Except for Botan. She remained standing. Gaping to whatever space that was occupied by Kurama moments before. "Botan?" Yukina called out.

Botan made her way to the table, meekly, and seated herself the right side of the Old Woman. She was still too stunned, speechless, and wide eyed. Everyone was already settled, helping themselves with whatever was on the table.

Then she abruptly stood up. "I need to leave. I have to fetch something, and--"

Before anyone could react further beyond startled gazes, Kurama pulled his chair out.

"No. I'll leave."

Kurama and Botan stared at each other for the second time in years. It was too unbearable for her. She could no longer breathe.

She was about to turn her back when the Old Woman bellowed. "No one will leave this damn table unless I said so."

Everything was left in midair. If the Old Woman started, it was a rule that everyone should remain where they were and listen. "_I_ invited him to dine with us. Please, respect that."

It was unusual of her to say 'please', but she said it then with sincerity. Thus it really meant that his presence was not something of mockery thrown to her.

But that instance she felt too little. She was too humiliated by his mere presence. Haunting memories came back, and started consuming her.

Before anyone could stop her, she fled. The way she did before. Uncalled and wicked.

**

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**

The moment they heard the door shut, Yusuke stood up and followed her. For the nth time, the audience gaped. Kurama did all his best to calm himself. If not for the blaze in his eyes, his calmness was undisputable. He felt weak, so he sat. His mind was on complete turmoil.

"Disgraceful child." The Old Woman said in fury. Everything was spoiled, the dinner, the good evening, and the promise of reconciliation. _Maybe it was too soon for both of them_. The Old Woman was disappointed on the outcome of her pursuits.

"I knew this was a bad idea," Kuwabara said with a silent sigh.

All of them looked at him. No one ever thought of that. It was really amazing of Kuwa to act like some stupid gorilla, and say something that is genuinely true after a second.

The Old Woman pierced him with a gaze. "What are you trying to say?"

Kuwa stopped, and thought whether to say something or not. Whatever he wanted to say would surely make the Old Woman livid. "Well, she is obviously not ready to see our dear friend, Kurama, here."

All of them just stared as if to ask how the hell he was certain about it. "She seems so awkward towards us. Didn't you ever think what she'll feel when she sees Kurama again would be worse than awkward? He is, after all, her estranged husband, for God's sake. Or, have you all forgotten?" He kept the tension at bay by chewing his food exaggeratedly. "Seen the look on her face? It's as if she'd seen one of the Four Groom's Men of the Apocalypse." He laughed at himself. "Maybe you actually look like one, Kurama."

As much as the Old Woman would want to hit him with anything that was in reach, she could not. Not because of proper decorum, but because what he said (about what Botan felt), for the second time in the evening, was undeniably true. _Apologize._ That, she noted to herself.

**

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**

He found her sitting on a bench by a lamppost, considerable yards away from the Old Woman's house. He found her there, trembling. _I'm not good in dealing with a crying lady, but what the hell._

"You run so fast. I don't recall that you can," he said, panting. He approached, and he realized that she was not crying. She was just trembling so much.

She turned to him, with her widened purple eyes. "If you followed me just to say that I should go back in that fucking house, you're just wasting your time."

He felt an urge to hold her in his arms, but refrained. "Shut up. I'm here to escort you wherever you're heading to."

She raised her eyes to fully look at his handsome face. The softness in his dark eyes, that the firm purse of lips failed to convey, made her tears fall down.

He felt the urge to hold her in his arms again. Yet, at that moment, he did not refrain.

She was in his arms, crying; he, in silence. They carried on that state for quite sometime. His warmth, strength, love, he poured all of it to her like he had done a thousand times before.

He waited, until she was ready to speak.

"I couldn't bear seeing him again, Yusuke." Her eyes were red and swollen, she was stunning, nonetheless.

"If you don't want to see him, then don't."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I have to." Before she could sense him standing near them, "I'm filing for a divorce," she said.

He froze, just as his world stopped revolving.

It was not Yusuke.

**

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**

The evening suddenly exhausted him. So he decided to leave, and bide everybody a good night. Genkai did not argue with him. She knew he had too much of the entire spoiled evening, even though he just stayed there for a little over an hour, which he spent with silent contemplation, and occasional conversation with the others.

Outside, the moon was almost at its full shape. There was also the sound of the crickets' song in the bushes. As he passed the big tree, which was then illuminated by humble fireflies, his mind was empty, his soul calm. That was what nature could do to him. It could offer him peace, at his worst time.

And then, his senses wavered at what he saw. There on the bench was Botan crying in Yusuke's arms.

They made him stop and just stood a safe distance away from them, slightly obscured by the darkness.

He had seen them like that a thousand times before. And hurt by it a million times.

Numb.

He had to be numb.

"I'm filing for a divorce." He heard her say.

And that was the time she recognize him in the shadows, and had the decency to gasp.

"What's wrong?" Yusuke trailed her eyes. "Kurama." He slowly let go of her.

Silence enveloped them, because they did not know what to say.

After a moment of genuine numbness, Kurama managed to gave a bright smile that did not reach his beautiful eyes. "I'm on my way home-- " He could not think of anything to add.

"Sure. Ugh, we're about to do the same."

_Doesn't seem like it to me._

He was aware of the fact that she was silently looking at him, but he did not reciprocate as much as they both wanted to. She will just see his pains, his frustrations… and his loneliness.

So, with a nod, he proceeded.

**

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**

There ya go. This is not a great chapter, I know, but I hope you enjoyed it, even on the slightest chance.

I also would like to inform you that** I will rewrite the Prologue and Chapter One of this story** within this week. Even if you don't agree with this plan, I'll still have to do it.

I apologize for everything. **Jessie Katz**


	4. Chapter Three

**STANDARD DISCLAIMER**: I do not own YYH. YYH and its characters rightfully belong to Yoshiro Togashi. Unfortunately, that fact is for eternity.

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**LADY ON THE CANVAS**

**Chapter Three**

"_It's like a memory... Especially a memory you wish you could forget but can't."_

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**

She woke up with a headache.

The night before, after she walked out of the Old Woman's dinner, and her awkward encounter with Kurama on the street while she was on Yusuke's arms, rain poured hard. Going back in the old house was the last thing on her mind then. So, she decided to go to the nearest bar; Yusuke in tow. (He won't let her go alone. _"It's not like I'm going to drink myself to death," _she told him. _"Well, let's just find out,"_ he answered, jokingly, with his trademark scoff.)

As far as she was concerned, the moment they entered the bar, she had no intention of getting herself drunk.

One bottle of margarita; that's six shots for her. Or was it eight?

She couldn't remember. Nor could she remember what Yusuke drank, how many glasses he had, who paid the drinks. (Nor could she remember the way Yusuke sensually rounded his arm around her hips when she stumbled. He tried hard then not to smile with satisfaction.)

The sound of the door opening sent a painful shot in her head. "Yusuke brought you in this morning." Yukina entered the room with a breakfast tray. It was ten o'clock, and she's suppose to be waking up in her hotel room, but obviously not.

"This morning?" Botan tried really hard to remember. Surely all of it happened last night, and not_ this_ morning.

"Yes. You got all of us worried. Kurama called six times to check if you've arrived home."

_Kurama._ She didn't want to hear it. After a long silence, she said, "You've changed." When Yukina answered with a quizzical expression, "Well, you just barged in my room without even bothering to knock."

"You've changed too, you know?" Yukina said, not feeling offended at all. "Before, you never mind when people don't knock and just barge in your room."

Botan started on her tea thoughtfully. "Really?"

After a while of silence, they both started to laugh.

***** *** * * ***

After Yukina left, Botan fell asleep again. It was three in the afternoon when she woke up; the April breeze graced from the open window tried to cool off the room.

Botan pulled herself up in a sitting position, and stayed like that for a while. (Several hours of sleep somehow turned her headache into a mild dizziness.) For a moment, she couldn't quite remember what spring day it was, but judging by the lunch Yukina silently put on the side table, it's Sunday – Yukina's day-off.

She shamelessly ignored the things around her -- the breeze, the smell of the spring grass. But she did noticed the old cherry blossoms tree after sometime of staring outside obliviously.

**

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**

_Then Botan started to remember._

_She started to remember memories. Especially memories she wished she could forget but cannot._

**

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**

She remembered the day when she was released from the small orphanage. It was just a usual day for her, actually. Breakfast at eight, classes started at nine, lunch at twelve, and midday nap at one. She was playing with the other orphans late in the afternoon, when she was summoned to the Principal's office. She was busy beaming and nodding to whatever the Principal was saying when she noticed the stunning, middle-aged woman with whimsical colored hair sitting stoically on a chair in one corner of the room. She smiled at her but realized that she somehow made a mistake by doing that, judging by the stern gaze and pursed lips she gave her.

It was the Woman that made that usual day _special_.

***** *** * * ***

On their way to her new home, only a few words were spoken between them.

"_Did you understand what your *Enchou-sensei told you?"_ the woman with a whimsical colored hair asked, crisply for sure.

"_Um," she nodded._

"_Really? But you weren't even listening to him."_

If it wasn't for the Woman's air of severeness, Botan would have blabbed endlessly, without the malicious intent to impress, just to entertain. What would she talk about? About everything -- except about herself.

Well, she did not have any entertaining, or impressing, things about her to tell in the first place, anyway.

*****

What's to tell with a little girl who was left purposely by her own mother in the train station with just a battered suitcase boxing her few belongings?

What's impressive about a little girl who, after a few days of patiently waiting in the train station only to realize that her mother would never come back for her, calmly went to the scribbled address in the piece of paper she had in her jacket pocket.

"_Hello." _She greeted the man who opened the gates of the little orphanage, cheerfully.

The Principal understood then and there what the fates gave to that little, shabby girl who knocked on his door with a smile on her face one autumn evening.

*****

No, she didn't want to disappoint the Woman with her sad, sad story.

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_*Principal_

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**Author's Notes****:**

Despite the standard disclaimer, I take all the credit for the original plot/story of this particular YYH fanfic. I spent excruciating days, which turned into months, then years, of occasional staring into spaces (i.e. the blue sky, my room ceiling, spent countless minutes of imagining possible scenes behind closed eyes without falling asleep; and spent time of looking for the right thing/person to inspire me, just so I can weave the scenes of this story.

In the end, I give credit to Mother Nature, the vast northern skies, my freedom, and the power of Murakami's words and his enigmatic stories.

Before I forgot, please excuse me for the imperfections --- grammatical errors, and all. Hey, I keep telling you, _English is NOT my first language_. ^.^'

**--- **_**From this chapter onwards, I will reveal everything that happened about Botan and Kurama's past.**_** ---**

**So hang on!**

To readers, thank you for your comments and time for reading this story.

--- **Jessie Katz**


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